Shut up

Hey. Loud annoying bastard at the front of the rock show. Yeah you. The one screaming all the lyrics to all the songs. You like the band. We get the point. But none of us payed to hear you sing karaoke. Shut the eff up.

And we know you think the singer’s hot. We all think so too. But you don’t notice us climbing halfway onto the stage to tell her, do you? Guess what. This might come as a shock… But SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU. She’s wearing leg warmers. When’s the last time you saw someone with leg warmers hanging out with someone that dresses like Michael Jordan. In a fashion show.

That was a rhetorical question.

And it doesn’t help that you’re waving your arms around like you’re rapping to her. You look like a clown. ‘Specially with your XXXL Jordan jersey. And matching cap. And matching white basketball shoes. What are you thinking?

Do us all a favor. Go post love notes to her on MySpace or something. Go thrift store shopping for some clothes that fit. Learn to dance. Anything… Just SHUT UP and GET THE EFF OUT OF MY WAY so I can enjoy the show.